| "I'm so lost for you..." |
[22 Oct 2004|05:58pm] |
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mood |
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in love... |
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music |
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Dave Matthews Band - Crash |
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"If I've gone overboard, Then I'm begging you to forgive me.."
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| "The grand facade so soon will burn..." |
[10 Aug 2004|06:31pm] |
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mood |
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blank |
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music |
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Peter Gabriel - In Your Eyes |
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To everything there is a season, A time for ever purpose under heaven: A time to be born, And a time to die; A time to plant, And a time to pluck what is planted; A time to kill, And a time to heal; A tme to break down, And a time to build up; A time to weep, And a time to laugh; A time to mourn, And a time to dance; A time to cast stones, And a time to gather stones; A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing; A time to gain, And a time to lose; A time to keep, And a time to throw away; A time to tear, And a time to sew; A time to keep silence, And a time to speak; A time to love, And a time to hate; A time of war' And a time of peace.
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| "You've got a dangerous background...And everything you've dreamed of." |
[13 Dec 2003|04:45pm] |
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mood |
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cheerful |
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music |
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Tom Petty and Stevie Nicks - Insider |
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Jessica just called and told me who drove her home today from taking the ACT's. And of course...it was Chris Avery. One of the most attractive guys in school (in my opinion). Jessica said she asked if he knew who I was, and he said yeah...She asked what he thought of me and he said he's never really talked to me but he said I was pretty. She said she told him everything she thought about me and she may have come off sounding gay, heh. But she told him that he was on the top of my list of hot guys...and she said he was very shocked.
I'm glad he knows I like him now... :)
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| "I am something of a dreamer..." |
[11 Dec 2003|09:47pm] |
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mood |
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calm |
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music |
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Buckingham Nicks - Nomad (demo) |
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For some odd reason, I've had a very good week. I haven't been pissed off at all...I haven't been very depressed at all. I've just been very...I don't know. Not necessarily happy, but I have nothing to be unhappy about. I just feel very carefree.
I was thinking about two songs the whole day that fit me sooo well for how I've been feeling... Tom Petty - Free Fallin' R.E.M. - End of the World
I can think of something that has made my week a little messed up though...That's my friend Robert. He's incredibly pissed off at me right now, and he's not going to get over it anytime soon. I don't know what to do about that... Somer didn't help it either...she kept trying to made me feel bad and like I hurt his feelings on purpose. That pissed me off sooo bad! She's been pissing me off lately. And you know what pisses me off even more...when she says something she did and she thinks it's so funny and she does this stupid fake laugh that she thinks it cute, and then I just sit there and tell her to stop and try to convince her that it was not funny...but oh well. She's okay sometimes, but other times she just annoys the hell out of me..
I've been talking to Jordan on the phone a lot lately...I like talking to him. He's the only person I talk to on the phone because I hate talking on the phone. He told me today that we talk more than him and his girlfriend. I don't like him anymore...I just like talking to him sometimes. He still says stuff to me like we are going out though...he normally says "hey beautiful" to me when we start talking. I'd probably never date him again unless he gets rid of Ryan as a friend..which wont happen, so I'm probably never going to go out with him again...
Ugh...I have homework to do. Fun fun... I think I have the most amazing teachers (besides Mr.Bargery). For some reason...all my teachers really like me because they'd tell me what have zeros in from not turning in homework..and they'd tell me just to turn it in latery. Well...Ms.Lane doesn't tell me when I'm missing stuff, so forget about her. I guess all my other teachers to that besides two...But still, it's awesome. Report cards come out soon...One of my teachers was talking to me today and she said if I don't make a 90 in that class then she was going to strangle me with my scarf. I think I have an 80 in there right now so I better get about 10 more points...heh.
14 more days until Christmas...how awesome is that? I can't wait...and then we have about 18 days out of school.
I just wanted to mention that I fucking hate Ryan Brock...and I wouldn't mind if he got struck by a bolt of lighting, a tree fell on him, he got hit by a car...I know I'm going straight to hell for saying that about someone, but I really don't give a shit what happens to him.
Well..I think I'm going to go do some homework...
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| "They've clipped my wings again, tore them apart and then left me..." |
[08 Dec 2003|07:38pm] |
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mood |
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scared |
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music |
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Katy Rose - Lemon |
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I think about death all the time and it scares me. I mean, I'm not fascinated with death in any way, but I'm scared of someone I love dying. I'm so worried that I'm going to have to watch someone I love die...I've never been to a funeral before either. I can't even stand the thought of someone dying in my life time. I'm refereing to my family more than anyone else. I have two brothers, one sister, and both my parents, and I can't stand the thought of losing one of them..
I'm always worried about my dad, though. He has a problem with seizures. I don't know exactly what he has...but he has to take like 6 pills a day for seizures and it scares me. The last seizure he had was on June 4th...I have a good memory. I mean, it scares the living fuck out of someone when they see their father on the ground shaking and you can't do a damn thing about it. He almost died when I was 7 years old...he had died twice and the doctors had to used those 2 shocking things, and the doctors had said that if he would have died again they would have just let him die because that would have meant he wasn't strong enough to survive. I was 7 then and I don't remember it being a huge deal back then..probably because they had never told me about those details..
I just love my dad so much that I don't know what I'd do if he has another seizure...
I was thinking about all this last night while I was lying in bed...I thought about it to the point where I was just sitting there crying and I couldn't stop crying...it was terrible..
I need to talk to someone about this whole death fear...I mean, it's worse than a fear when I'm so concerned about it. I don't know what to do... :(
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| "You may say I'm a dreamer...but I'm not the only one." |
[08 Dec 2003|05:36pm] |
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mood |
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sad |
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music |
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John Lennon - Imagine |
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October 9, 1940 - December 8, 1980
John Lennon
You are truly missed, John...
Why did he have to die? Of all people..why kill him? Why kill anyone?
I hope Mark David Chapman is sitting in his jail cell right now wondering what the fuck he was thinking 23 years ago...
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| "I'll follow you down 'til the sound of my voice will haunt you.." |
[07 Dec 2003|10:50pm] |
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mood |
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bitchy |
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music |
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Fleetwood Mac - Silver Springs (live-The Dance) |
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I fucking hate French class!! It's so aggravating to learn a different language. And what makes it worse is when you have a teacher like mine. A teacher who gets mad at you when you don't understand one little thing. Teachers are supposed to be patient with you and not bitch at you for not knowing exactly what's going on. And it really pisses me off when the bastard writes you up for being a human being and forgetting your homework... Yeah, he writes you up for forgetting. Even if you are a straight-A kid who forgot to bring it in one day!
Ugh...School's a bitch.
Tomorrow we have a basketball game in school. I doubt I'm even going to play, so I'm just going to have to sit there the whole time. That's alright..I'll have Somer to talk to. I don't even know if I'm going to dress out... I think we're supposed to wear our windsuit to school tomorrow, and I really don't feel like it. Mine's about 2 sizes too big and it looks incredibly tacky on me.
I should probably go to bed. Last time I went to bed late, I woke up 20 minutes before school started and that wasn't too fun.
A nice, peaceful day turned into a terrible night.. :/
*taps head 21 times*
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| "Blackbird singing in the dead of night...Take these broken wings and learn to fly." |
[07 Dec 2003|05:35pm] |
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mood |
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cheerful |
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music |
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The Beatles - Blackbird |
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Well, I went to church today. It was very interesting...During group processing I felt very relaxed. I wish I could feel that relaxed all the time...it was awesome.
We got a Christmas tree today! I'm very excited about Christmas. I really want it to snow.
-sigh- I really need a new layout. I'm getting tired of this one...
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| "Some day you will find me...caught beneath the landslide." |
[06 Dec 2003|11:12pm] |
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mood |
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blah |
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music |
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Oasis - Champagne Supernova |
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I always miss the fun activites at church.. :(
Tonight was this celebration of this program we have called "LEAP" and of course...I missed it. Issac Hayes, Lisa Marie and Priscilla Presley were there, so that would have been pretty cool to go. I guess I'll find out more about it tomorrow morning..
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| "Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying..." |
[06 Dec 2003|10:50pm] |
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mood |
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blah |
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music |
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Pink Floyd - Comfortably Numb |
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I thought this was interesting...
Your Daily Horoscope from Astrology.com: December 06, 2003
If you can choose the person you spend the majority of your time with, make sure it's someone who has similar interests and outlooks on life as you do. There's a good chance that you'll be traveling or stuck in close quarters together -- being confined in a small space with someone who argues with you at every turn of the road can get mighty old mighty fast. That's not to say that a different viewpoint isn't good from time to time; right now, you're better off with someone who understands you and who can sympathize with what you're going through.
Someone...help me find that person. I wish I could find a friend who understands me and I could relate to.. :/
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| "Sunflowers and your face fascinate me..." |
[05 Dec 2003|06:29pm] |
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mood |
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bitchy |
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music |
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Buckingham Nicks - Long Distance Winner |
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For some odd reason..I'm in a very depressing mood tonight.
I'm about to go to the movies with Timorie, Maegan, James, Somer, and Justin. I don't feel like going at all, but I'm sure I'll have more fun when I'm there...
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